


Dirty

by orphan_account



Category: Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-21
Updated: 2017-05-21
Packaged: 2018-11-03 09:25:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,268
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10964382
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: After Obi-Wan goes on a mission, the reader decides to go out, but ends up greatly regretting her decision.





	Dirty

**Author's Note:**

> Just another trigger warning - includes rape/non-consensual sex  
> Hope it's okay

Every single fibre of you was screaming. Screaming for it to stop. Screaming for escape.  
But you couldn’t.  
Each passing moment sent cracks through your body, scorching hot tears rolling down your cheeks, your hands curled into fists.  
You didn’t ask for it. You didn’t want this.  
But he had done it anyway, pressing you against a wall and using you like a toy.   
Originally, you had tried to shout for help, but he crushed your face into the wall, the rough surface digging in and cutting your smooth skin. So, instead, you just let it happen, sick to your stomach by the noises he was making.   
You hadn’t asked for it.  
He finished, your heart sinking low. He pulled out, zipping up his underwear and leaving.   
You were too weak to walk, your legs collapsing beneath you. You had been wearing a dress, a lovely pale blue dress that floated out behind you as you walked. It was now torn and muddy as you sat, slumped, against the wall, blood rolling down your thighs.   
You stayed there for a while until your limbs grew cold. You pulled up your underwear, making sure your dress was pulled as far as you could down your legs, and started to stumble home, ignoring the raging pain pulsing through you.   
When you finally made it to your room in the Jedi Temple, you stayed in silence. You couldn’t tell if you were glad or not that Obi Wan was away on a mission this certain night. You felt dirty from where he had touched you, his fingers leaving bruises.   
You ran to the toilet and began to vomit, shudders running through you as you began to cry.   
You got in the shower, beginning to scrub furiously at your legs and hips, washing yourself over and over until your skin was red raw.   
Falling into bed, you pulled the covers over you, not bothering to dry your hair or skin. You just stared into the distance, wishing you hadn’t decided to go out with Padme that night, praying that it was all a sick, sick dream.   
But, the sun rose, and you found it was all real.  
You got up, your body covered in bruises, your area in agony, but you just changed into your Jedi robes and headed out for duty.  
The day was long and painful. You tried to train but you couldn’t. You tried to meditate but you couldn’t. You felt fragile and helpless, like one word could break you.   
You didn’t go and meet Obi Wan as you usually did when he came back from an assignment. Instead, you sat alone in the meditation gardens, watching the plants move in the wind.   
Of course, eventually Obi Wan came to find you, concern flooding off him.   
“Why didn’t you come to meet me?” He asked, but you didn’t raise your gaze to meet his. You felt guilty. Disgusting. “What have I done, my love?” He tried, but you didn’t respond, only continued to watch the plants. “Please, speak to me.” Obi Wan was pleading by now. He touched your hand gently, and you flinched away from him. You felt dirty.   
Obi Wan’s force signature was pulsing with hurt and frustration.   
“You haven’t done anything,” The words came from your mouth dry and plain, and Obi-Wan frowned, furrowing his brow.   
“Then what is the matter?” You sat back, wrapping your arms around yourself.   
“I just need some time to myself.” Your voice was again monotone. Obi-Wan hesitated, before nodded.   
“Well… Okay… If that is what you want.” He paused, as though about to say something else, then walked away, leaving you alone once again. You wanted to shout for him to come back, but you didn’t.  
You went back to your room, showering again. Your entire body stung, and you began to scrub, tears rolling down your cheeks again, but you couldn’t forget where he touched you.  
This continued for a few days. You avoided Obi-Wan as much as possible. You showered at least three times a day. You couldn’t meditate, couldn’t train.   
One night, you were staring at yourself in the mirror, your body stripped of clothes except your underwear. The bruises still hadn’t faded, large and spreading over your body. You felt sick, but you couldn’t move away.   
“Y/N- Oh my Force,” You flinched at the voice, stumbling to find something to cover yourself with. Obi-Wan stared at you from the door, hand shaking as he covered his mouth.   
“Please leave,” You whispered, but he moved toward you, taking away the cloak you had picked up to cover your body. He examined the large patches of colour, shaking his head, a tear dropping from his eye. You felt disgusted with yourself, guilty.   
“Is this why you wouldn’t speak to me?” Obi-Wan mumbled, shaking his head slowly. “Darling, what happened? Who did this?”   
“It’s my fault!” You suddenly shouted. “I wore that dress! I was asking for it…” Tears began to stream down your face. “I’m so sorry, Obi-Wan. I can’t face myself.”   
“What do you mean, you were asking for it?” Obi-Wan frowned, before it came together in his head. “Oh my…” Obi-Wan looked as though he was going to be sick, holding his hand over his mouth. You stood in front of him shamefully.   
“I understand if you don’t want to be with me, Obi-Wan. I’m so dirty, so gross,” You spat the words, covering your face. “I’m a slut!” Obi-Wan’s eyes widened, and he shook his head frantically.   
“No, no, Y/N, never say that again. You are anything but that, my love.” He came close to you and resting his hand on your cheek. “My dear, I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry I wasn’t there to protect you.” He began to cry, and you grit your teeth. This was all your fault.   
“I’m sorry!” You cried, shrinking away from him. “I deserve worse than this… It’s all my fault.” Obi-Wan reached out to you.   
“This is not your fault, love. This is no one’s fault except the scum that did this to you.” He pulled you into his arms, and you wept into his chest. He rested his head next to yours, clutching you tightly, rocking you a little. “You are beautiful, Y/N. You were not asking for this.” Obi-Wan spoke gently next to you ear.   
“Don’t leave me, Obi, please,” You stuttered.   
“Never. I promise.” He kissed your head softly, running his fingers through your hair.   
“He dragged me into an alleyway, and he, ripped my dress and then, and then,” You let the words spill from your mouth. “And then he crushed my face into the wall when I tried to scream, and he touched me, all over, and I feel so dirty! Every day I scrub at my skin but it won’t go away!” You shook frantically. “I couldn’t escape, Obi, and I cried for you,”  
“I’m here, my love. I’m staying here.” Obi-Wan repeated the words as you cried, occasionally pressing kisses to your head or shoulder, caressing your back. “He can’t hurt you now. You’re safe. You’re clean.” You sniffled, breathing in his scent.   
“I love you,” You breathed.   
“I love you too.” Obi-Wan lifted your head to look at him, before kissing you softly, tucking a stray hair behind your ear. You hesitantly wrapped your arms around his neck, lacing your fingers through his soft hair. In that moment, your body seemed so clean, so free of the touch you wished to rid of for so long, and had been replaced with the touch of a god.


End file.
